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Part III of III: Grace & Gratitude

Right now in this unstable time, I am doing the best I can. In this realization that I do not have control over this external circumstance, I will operate to the best of my ability and give myself LOTS of grace. This means I grant myself permission to have off days and that it is OK to not be OK. I am easing off the self critical pressure and high expectations of days past. At least for now. Self care and honor myself for where I am today.

I also have found that it is key to ask for assistance when needed versus powering through in misery or anxiety. It is ok to ask for help or to need to need others.

Early on in Week 1 & 2 my husband and I worked out a game plan in order for both of us to work from home and find a balance to achieve what we both need to achieve. Our workload, homeschooling responsibilities and client/company needs vary everyday. We have learned that we had to roll with it however it was crucial to communicate in advance any upcoming calls and deadlines to find a good schedule that was ideal for all.

One area that I did not fully realize was essential to my mental health and overall wellbeing until this crisis is how much I need “think time”. What a luxury it is to have an opportunity to reflect, plan, to breathe and hear my own thoughts. Whether it is to create new content for a webinar, edit an article, plan the weekly menu or mentally walkthrough my fears and anxiety of the future. Even just five minutes to myself is a wonderful way to recharge and assess my status. Frequently, I will go outside on the patio, go for a walk or sometimes even sneak away to the quiet corner in the house to carve out time to reset and refocus to find my clarity.

When I lose sleep at night or find my fears racing, I find the sense of gratitude as a manner to come back to being grounded in the here and now. I fully understand that I am very blessed and very grateful for those who are front line warriors like my sister Judy who is a Nurse Practitioner in Ohio. I am so thankful, even in isolation, how wonderful it is to be at home with my family. I have beyond all that I need in which I do not take for granted. Yes, I miss terribly the previous “normal” life however I am consciously aware of the silver lining of the little blessings that I may not have discovered these joys without this reset time occurring.

I appreciate the small things such a more relaxed morning routine vs rushing and stressing to get to school or the airport. sleep in with a delayed wake up at 6:45am versus rise and shine at 5:45am! Plus the joy to do activities again that I love that the hectic life kept me from fully enjoying. So happy to break out my painting tools to get “artsy” with Anthony for school projects and planting seeds for science experiments. Riding the tough bike trails as a family breaking a sweat and feeling my heart beating. The best joy is sharing my love of reading with my kiddo witnessing him building confidence in reading and discovering new worlds within books . My family often shares at dinner and bedtime specific things and wins that we were grateful for that day.

It is interesting that now with a new set of eyes that the little things seem so much bigger and better. My rose bush blooming, catching up while social distancing from the fire pit with friends, double over laughing at a good joke, success at a new recipe, time to workout or getting my parents to connect via Facetime. By giving myself grace, staying grounded with gratitude, I am optimistic for the future. For all of these blessings and the joy of life, it allows me to see the silver lining and have hope for what is next to come. Xoxo -akd

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